Providing Zippy Copywriting That Works Faster Than Traditional Hemorrhoid Relief.

Like many baseball-loving and playing kids in the 1980's, one of my first exposures to direct response copy was on the Bazooka gum wrappers.

Old direct response copywriting on a gum wrapperTalk about a copywriting challenge, right?

They had a small image and about 2 sentences on a small gum wrapper to sell something.

From there, vintage comic books were an awesome source of direct response copy, before I began calling all the 1-800 numbers in the back of business opportunity magazines.

If you're on this page, then you're probably looking for some other type of copywriting work needed to drive leads or sell more of your products or services, right?

Well, that's exactly why I created this page.

It's for those "odd jobs" that you don't want to spend the time writing the copy or marketing promotions for on your own.

After all, there are all sorts of...

Odd Copywriting Jobs Offered Here

In addition to salesletter copywriting, you have everything from...

- Email campaigns (subject lines and full copy)
- Direct mail pieces (long and short)
- Postcards
- Copy for banners (online and off-line)
- Magazine ads (display with short or long copy)
- Voice-over scripts for radio & TV commercials
- Display ads (all types)
- Creative copy for billboards along the highway
- Copy for any type of online marketing
- Copy for any type of off-line marketing
- Etc.

Just as a 'handyman' can do any sort of job in your house in or out, my 'handyman copywriting services' will help you get more sales and save you time.

Whether you have a brick and mortar business, or you're a SAS company launching a SalesForce killer, I've got your copy covered.

It doesn't matter if your target market prefers dry, more specific type copy...

Or they enjoy the razzle-dazzle copy filled with big promises, huge guarantees, and the kitchen sink...

I've got your back... and your copy.

In fact....

If you're in the market for copy for a cardboard sign you could wear while you walk up and down the street, I can do that, too.

How I Gave Away Money & Ended Up On The News

I needed to think - FAST.

My client was launching in the Houston, Texas market in one week and I needed to get them the most exposure I could.

And I needed a heck of a lot more exposure than what Facebook ads could bring.

Suddenly, the BIG IDEA hit me like a ton of bricks. Actually, it hit me like big stacks of $1 bills.

And no, I was not at a strip club...

My idea was this:

Creative copywriting that got PR, news, radio, and more.

I created a big cardboard sign that said, "I Don't Want Your $ - I'm Giving It Away".

I then put a couple of holes on the top of the cardboard and added some string so I could wear it around my neck.

Next, I wrote a one-page flyer with a great offer that lead people to a website (landing page) so I could get their name and email address.

I went to the bank and got hundreds of dollars worth of $1 bills, and then stapled a $1 bill to each flier.

Now here's where the magic happened...

I wrote out 15 different scripts for people to read... And then wrote down the phone numbers for all of the radio, TV, and news stations in Houston.

Finally, I reached out to a bunch of friends and asked them to make at least 3 phone calls from my list using the script I wrote at random when I texted them to do so.

Everything was in place...

The next day I drove down to one of the busiest intersections in Houston, Texas wearing a black suit.

Sign with creative direct response copywriting to attract new clientsUnfortunately, this was mid-summer and it was well over 100 degrees outside...

Not my best idea for a summer marketing stunt, but there was no turning back.

I walked out to the median and started walking back and fourth.

I had the sign around my neck and a stack of the fliers.

People were rolling down their windows, and I was handing them the flier and the $1 bill.

Soon, local security came and called me over to the other side of the street. I explained what I was doing and the officer loved it.

He was worried about me having all that cash out in the open, so he parked his car in in a nearby parking lot.

I was sweating.

Getting dehydrated.

The sun and heat was relentless...

But I knew the show must go on. I pulled out my phone and texted everyone, "GO GO GO!"

It wasn't long before texts started coming in from friends...

"I was just on the radio!" And, "FOX News said they are coming to check it out!" And, "The Houston Chronicle is sending a reporter!"

Before long, I had a reporter from a major newspaper interviewing me.

I noticed traffic started to get way backed up - probably from my friend saying, "There's a guy in a suit giving away money on the corner of..." live on the radio.

But then...

When the Fox News truck pulled up in a the parking lot across the street, followed by a reporter and camera guy waving me over, I knew my plan had worked.

I walked across the street and was interviewed about why I was giving money away.

I was drenched in sweat. Hot. Exhausted.

There were about 30 fliers left, but my mission had been accomplished.

And this all started with a piece of cardboard, a marker, and one simple sentence.

Whether you're looking for that odd copywriting job for an ad you want to run, or you'd like an out-of-the-box marketing promotion/stunt to attract the media...

I'm your guy.

You ready to get started now?

Pricing varies per project. Submit for a quote.

What A Few Past & Current Clients Say About My Copywriting...

"Rob is the 3rd best copywriter in the history of copywriting. Joking aside, I went through a very rigorous and detailed hiring process after reaching out to my entire network (which is significant in our industry)… We hired Rob.

He is a breeze to work with, his copy gets people engaged and to take action. Ask Rob for my contact info and feel free to call me so I can rave more about him and your specific needs.

I consider Rob not only our copywriter, I also consider him a trusted asset in our industry."

-- David Gonzalez, Founder of the world famous 'Internet Marketing Party' and 'Simply The Coolest'

"I worked as the assigned Customer Success Manager for Act-On Software for a company that Rob was product launching. It was an amazing product line of total health and nutrition supplements.

Act-On is a fairly robust marketing automation product and Rob had a very tight deadline to meet.

We met many times over the next 45 days, during all hours day and night and even on the weekends to ensure the product launch would meet his clients requested time period. The product launch was successful and on-time!

I am sure Rob was probably thoroughly exhausted by the end of it, but he never once complained, and was always upbeat and completely positive.

I can't tell you enough what a great guy he is to get to work with. I would jump at the chance to get to work alongside him again.

There is not a doubt in my mind that whatever project Rob aligns himself with will be a hugely successful venture. Success follows those who strive to make a difference. Rob is one of those individuals."

-- J.P. Niemann, Senior Sales Engineer at Act-On Software, Inc.

"Rob is clearly an out of the box thinker. He can provide standard solutions with ease but can also deliver so attention grabbing, action taking copy that can dramatically improve results.

I recommend Rob to wake up your prospects, grab their imaginations and get them to reach for their wallets for you."

-- Dan Swanson, Marketing Consultant

"Rob is a tear-down-the-walls gorilla copywriter with power, punch, and speed like I haven't seen in decades. The guy is hungry, smart, fast, and nice, too.

I love his work and am constantly impressed by him. I predict we won't be able to afford him in one year."

-- Joe Vitale, as seen in the movie 'The Secret' and author of: "The Attractor Factor", "Hypnotic Writing", and dozens of others.

"If you are in need of copywriting, Rob comes highly recommended. You'll get a professionally written sales piece that can definitely increase your conversion rates and that's money in the bank. Your new copy will pay for itself over and over again with the increased results. Not only will you receive professionally written copy, but Rob will also work with you to make the changes you need as well as suggest improvements that you probably never even thought of. A wise investment for your business and highly recommended!"

-- David Christopher Ray, Internet Marketer & Product Developer

"I'm not easily impressed by so-called "copywriters" because I write my own sales letters that can be considered "killer sales letters". Well, that is what I used to think until I met you. I wanted to let you know that it's been a great pleasure to work with you during this past three weeks! You're professional, friendly, and a great friend too.

It's been completely amazing seeing the results of the new auto-responder series and sales letters you created for me (not to mention very profitable). Your writing literally made me want to buy my OWN product! Sounds crazy, but it's true! I highly recommend you to anyone who wants to EXPLODE his/her sales significantly.

From now on, I will no doubt outsource and leave the writing to someone who really writes killer sales letters and knows about his field -- YOU! I'm Looking forward to working with you again in the very near future!

--Bob Bastian, Internet Marketer & Product Developer

"I know Rob better than anyone else because I'm his wife. I have not only seen how hard he works with his clients, but I have my own results to share as well! Rob wrote all of the copy for a product that I was selling online that lead to me being featured in Health Magazine, Disney, and my product being featured on a reality TV show. In addition, he has been my 'secret weapon' behind another one of my businesses which enabled me to go from zero to ranked #4 our of over 350,000 distributors in my company.

If you don't hurry up and hire him, I'll beat you to it for my next product!"

-- Rob's wife, Kristin


Being a superhero is no easy job. In between keeping the world safe for my son, I've been saving companies from poor marketing for over a decade.

Although I've been writing marketing copy professionally since 2003, my Internet marketing background dates back to 1999. From patenting new business models to generating 7-figures in sales in just 24 hours, I've battled many evil villains to protect and serve many clients.

Whether you need copywriting for your Amazon products, salesletters, direct mail pieces, or you're about to launch the next killer product, it is my mission to serve and produce excellent results.

I love the challenge of coming up with copy that speaks so deeply to the desires of your target market that they run to get their credit card without even thinking about it.

Whatever action you want your prospect to take with an 'odd' copywriting job, I'm looking forward to spellbinding them to do it.

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© Robert Hawthorne  2003 – 2018

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